I guess you lose track of all time when you are in love.

Ah love, sweet love. It comes in all forms, yanno.

I went back to work in April and can now say, I am in love with my career. I love the organization, the work we do, the work I get to do is all incredibly fulfilling and important. Since I started I have gotten a nice fat raise, a promotion and grade level salary increase to come in September. I have totally loosened up, for those of you that know me prepare to clutch the heart a bit. I wear shorts to work...and when I wear jeans, my polo is untucked. One day, I even wore sneakers. My hair has gotten a little shaggier too...although I still do not own Birkenstocks and have not been hugging trees. Although, I did go kayaking and explored this really muddy creek. I work with amazing and smart people. I am starting to teach again, in the coming month I will be running some of the classes I used to teach at Georgetown. It has been a long time since my spirit was so energized about what I committed myself to as a career path.

Along that same path, back in June, I quit the bar. I just put the keys on the bar and left. I didn't look back, I didn't get upset. I just reached my limit and said, yeah, I think I have had enough. I had a seven year run there. Working for a crazy alcoholic who would hug you with one arm while choking you with the other was too much. It was hard, I did a lot while I was there. I went through two relationships during my tenure, which made it even easier to walk out the door considering the bar was a link to them. Nothing makes you want to go to work more than knowing you will be there with an ex or two. I felt like I left on my own steam, but not my own terms. Welcome to the disease of alcoholism folks, we encourage you to buckle up or get the hell off the ride. The funny thing is, I haven't felt this big ache for my community and to be connected to other kinksters. I seem to be doing just fine on my own.

My regular life with irregularjoe has been a constant source of soothe. I look forward to my standing Thursday night date, no matter what we do. Lately, he has me hooked on Mancala, I wonder if he regrets teaching me to play, since I look at him with dark rimmed eyes and say, just one more game...I can take you, I know I can. I am tickled to death that trystoffate and redindigo are living so close now. I seem to spend more time with johnmatthew bf than him, but that friendship is really growing in a way I could never have expected.  Life is good with good friends.

I have been dating some and while it is fun, I realize I don't want to be married. At least not now...not this minute. I mean one day, yeah sure, I want to settle down. I miss good coupledom and all that it entails. I had that perfect synchronicity you only find once in a blue moon. I wonder sometimes if I will ever find that again, but it is usually a passing thought.  I guess what I miss is that day to day familiarity that comes from being partnered and living with someone. I don't miss being needed and clung to and depended upon for more than my fair share. I don't miss or want anything enough to rush though. I got plenty of time left to find what is right and in the mean time, I seem to have an abundance of right nows. We shall see what happens.

I want to update more, I just haven't found the time. My work is such I spend a good portion away from a desk and computer for the majority of the day. When I get home at night, I am usually spent from putting myself out there all day.